The Curious Case of the Z Note

It seems at night my imagination runs faster than any marathon runner I've ever heard of. Clearly introductions to ideas are not my thing, but I swear I'm going somewhere with this. I fear that when I'm going about my day I am going too fast and too oblivious. I let my stress subside and any insecurities I have are instantaneously brushed under the rug. But at night when I lay my head down and attempt to pray to whoever is listening, all that is put on the back burner during the day is now front and center. I can't fall asleep. Now maybe I went to bed too early, but I hardly think 11 pm is early. Why can't I catch the off chance of earning sleep? Perhaps it's a sign that I'm saving all of my stress for a time that is a bad time. Shall I move slower during my day? Take my problems and execute them carefully with focus? Then again maybe it's the scary movie I watched before bed. Most likely not because I know the difference between a movie and real life. I think it's the fear of what is to come. That saddens me. To not be able to look forward to tomorrow and the next day and the next is a sad thing. I feel like maybe I can't sleep right now because I have no desire to get to tomorrow. Which is probably entirely true.

Don't Wear Green Socks With Moccasins

It's relatively easy to feel like you make good choices. After all, you're the one doing it. Today when I got dressed I put on a knitted sweater with dark green, dark purple, gold, red and dark blue lines. I thought I'd be fun and wear my green J. Crew socks. How wrong I was. All throughout the day I liked my outfit. My friend just dropped me off from a car ride. He said, "And don't ever wear green socks with moccasins, boy!" in his usual peppy spirit. To me all I heard was, "You're my friend." It's funny how certain things can mean something else to you. I wasn't upset that my friend saw my outfit as a miss. In fact, I'm still smiling. It got me thinking, do I really over think too much? What about people as a whole... How often do we hear one thing and let it mean another? I fall victim to over thinking. It's probably my biggest flaw. To me, a smile means 'I love you' and if someone doesn't want to sit by me I read it as they hate me. Do I make good choices in my judge of character? Absolutely. But I will admit, I don't make good choices in how I translate certain things. I've always said I'd rather be too emotional than not emotional enough. Though I say it, I can't confirm I do indeed prefer that. So while most people will go to bed tonight thinking of why their day sucked ass or why it kicked ass....I'll be thinking about my green J. Crew socks. And moccasins. Why? Because I made the good choice of reading too much into what my friend said. My friend rocks my green socks. 

make a wish, 

jeremy